The Process of Forgiveness

In keeping with Pastor Ken's sermon series "Renewing our Spirit", we learned that "forgiveness" is critical in restoring our relationship with God. The Lord promises to forgive our sins if we forgive others. The following is written to help you with the process of "forgiving others", as you break free from the bondage of bitterness and resentment. The steps and information are taken from Steps to Freedom in Christ, by Neil Anderson. I pray that the Spirit of God guides you and releases you as you seek Him.

Forgiveness is not forgetting. Once you choose to forgive someone, then Christ will heal your wounds. We don't heal in order to forgive. We forgive in order to heal.

Forgiveness is a choice, a decision of the will. Let God deal with the person, and let them off your hook. You are still hooked to the person you refuse to forgive. The one who offended you is now on God's hook. Trust that God will deal with the person justly and fairly, something you cannot do.

Forgiveness is agreeing to live with the consequences of another person's sin. The choice you have is whether to do so in the bondage of bitterness or in the freedom of forgiveness.

Forgiveness is choosing not to hold someone's sin against them anymore. Let go of the past and reject any thought of revenge. Remember that God is the Judge.

Don't wait until you feel like forgiving. You will never get there. Once you choose to forgive, Satan will lose his hold on you, and God will heal your damaged emotions.

Forgive from the heart. Allow God to bring to the surface the painful memories and acknowledge how you feel towards the one who has hurt you. Don't bury the emotional pain. Allow God to heal your heart and mind.

Steps to help you forgive

Ask God to bring to your mind those people you need to forgive. Write their names on a piece of paper as they come to your mind. Write "myself" at the bottom of the list if you need to forgive yourself for wrong choices you've made in the past. Also write down "thoughts against God" if you need to let go of disappointment towards your Heavenly Father.

Prayer asking God to bring to your mind people you need to forgive:

Dear Heavenly Father, I than You for the riches of your kindness, forbearance and patience towards me, knowing that Your kindness has led me to repentance. I confess that I have not shown that same kindness and patience toward those who have hurt or offended me (see Romans 2:4). Instead, I have held on to my anger, bitterness and resentment toward them. Please bring to my mind all the people I need to forgive, in order that I may now do so. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.

Start with the first person on your list, and make the choice to forgive him or her for every painful memory that comes to your mind. God may bring to your mind painful memories that you have forgotten. Let Him do this, even if it hurts. God is surfacing those memories so that you can face them once for all time and let them go.

Don't say, "Lord, please help me to forgive." Say, "Lord I choose to forgive these people and what they did to me."

Prayer for each painful memory:

Lord Jesus, I choose to forgive (name the person) for (what he or she did or failed to do) because it made me feel (share the painful feelings; i.e., rejected, dirty, worthless, inferior, etc.).

After you have forgiven each person for every painful memory, pray:

Lord Jesus, I choose not to hold on to my resentment. I relinquish my right to seek revenge and ask You to heal my damaged emotions. Thank you for setting me free from the bondage of my bitterness. I now ask You to bless those who have hurt me. In Jesus' name I pray. Amen.

Romans 8:15 says, " For you have not received a spirit of slavery leading to fear again, but you have received a spirit of adoption as sons by which we cry out, "Abba, Father!"

We are called to be merciful just as our Heavenly Father is merciful, and forgive others as we have been forgiven. (Luke 6:36 and Ephesians 4: 31-32).

God bless you in your freedom!

         Forgiven Indeed,
         Alison