Today we're in week number 4 in the series of messages called "Seven Wonders." Each week we are taking a question that people commonly wonder about. You've heard the phrase "answering questions that no one is asking." That's not the case with these sermons. Scattered all around Chapin are people who are asking these questions. They may even be sitting next to you right now. Is there a God? Why do I exist? Am I unique? These are the questions we've already tackled. Today, why do I feel so alone?

One of the seven wonders of the ancient world was the Hanging Gardens of Babylon. Of all the seven wonders, this one perhaps has intrigued historians and archaeologists the most because they are not absolutely for certain they existed. They are fairly certain that there are elements of truth in the legends that were handed down through the centuries, but wonder to what extent the facts have been embellished.

Fruits and flowers, waterfalls, exotic animals, gardens hanging from the palace terraces. These are the things most people picture in their minds. What made the legendary gardens so unique was the fact that they were planted and cultivated above ground on a terrace level.

The Hanging Gardens of Babylon were most likely built by King Nebuchadnezzar in the sixth century BC, on the east bank of the Euphrates River, south of Baghdad. Why did the king build them? To please his wife or concubine. She had been brought up in Media and was homesick for the mountains back home. She probably often asked the question we're studying today. Why do I feel so alone?

Loneliness is a huge problem. It cuts across every division of age, sex, marital status, race, and socio-economic status. Senior adults, especially widows and especially those who face ongoing health issues are prone to have problems with loneliness. It doesn't matter if you're rich and famous or poor and recluse, loneliness can be a problem. And studies show convincingly that loneliness can lead to sickness, disease and even premature death.

Say you don't think loneliness is all that prevalent? Let me give you a quick tour of some popular songs. Do you remember Roy Orbison's "Only the Lonely?" Even his "Pretty Woman" asks the question, "Are you lonely, just like me?" Britney Spears and Puff Daddy both recorded a song called "Lonely." One of the best-selling albums of all-time is The Beatles' Sergeant Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band. Cher sings, "This Is a Song for the Lonely" and Ricky Martin counters with a Latin salsa "Nobody Wants to Be Lonely." Mickey Gilley sings of "Lonely Nights." Mest wails away with "Lonely Days." Even Janet Jackson proclaims "I Get So Lonely Tonight." One of Field Mob's greatest hits is "Sick of Being Lonely."

I can't finish this list without mentioning the King of rock-n-roll, Elvis. "Well, since my baby left me, I found a new place to dwell. It's down at the end of Lonely Street at Heartbreak Hotel." And don't forget one of his tear-jerker songs, "Are You Lonesome Tonight?" Six weeks before he died at 42, a reporter asked Elvis, "You said earlier in your life that you wanted to obtain wealth, fame and happiness. Did you?" Elvis responded, "The first two, yes. But the last? I'm lonely." How could that be, as popular as he was. He could have had anything or anyone he wanted.

Why do I feel so lonely? Near the end of her life of sacrifice and service, Mother Teresa was asked, "What is the greatest human tragedy?" Her response was one word—"loneliness."

Why do I feel so lonely? Even though that's a very complex question with complicated answers, basically the problem stems from breakdowns in two specific relationships—your relationship with God and/or your relationship with others.

Do you ever feel lonely? Do you feel lonely most of the time? Why do you have such difficulty finding friends who won't bail on you? Why don't you have any real friends? Why do you feel lonely even when you are at home with your family? These are great questions. If you struggle with loneliness on any level, consider these three words of wisdom.

First, pursue your relationship with God. The Bible clearly states that God invites us to become His friend through the sacrifice of His own Son. "Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command. I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master's business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you" ( John 15:13-15).

God never intended for you to be lonely or isolated from others. Just the opposite is true. God invites you to discover the end of all loneliness by pursuing a personal relationship with Him. When you receive Jesus Christ as your personal Savior, you become part of God's family of believers all over the world. He calls you into community with all Christians. Referring to Christians, the Bible also says, "You are citizens along with all of God's holy people. You are members of God's family" ( Ephesians 2:19, NLT).

This membership in God's family is based on respect, love and forgiveness—which is what our relationship with God is based on. God offers His all-encompassing love to all who know Him as personal Savior and Lord. He says, "I've never quit loving you and never will. Expect love, love, and more love!" ( Jeremiah 31:3, Msg).

By and large, I am just an ordinary Joe kind of guy. I mean, my name is Ken. Do you know many famous people named Ken? Don't get me wrong, I love my name because it means "handsome," such a fitting name. People feel a sense of power when they know people in high places. Governor Sanford? Yeah, we go way back. The last time I was over at Tiger Woods' house….Jessica Simpson? I used to date her sister. You know what I'm talking about, don't you?

Me? My only claim to fame is that I rode the bench in high school to give Jim Rice playing time. I used to chase his homerun balls down the ghetto streets behind the old McCants Junior High School. People in college knew me as Charles Fant's roommate. However, I did shake presidential candidate George Bush's hand in the Labor Day parade. And one day Anita and I were getting on an elevator in Atlanta and out walked from the elevator Bob Hope. I wonder if he remembered me.

Imagine being a personal friend of God. Maybe that seems impossible, but I promise you it is not. You can become an intimate friend of the God of this universe. It begins the day you find forgiveness of sin through Jesus Christ. You don't have to feel lonely. God wants to be your friend. Is there anyone in this world that you would rather be friends with than God?

Pursue your relationship with Him. Accept Him into your heart. If you're already a believer, perhaps you need to say, "Father, I'm sorry. I'm having these feelings of loneliness. Sometimes I forget that you promised you would always be a special friend to me." If you're lonely, the first line item on your inventory list should be to measure the quality of your relationship with Jesus Christ.

Second, pursue meaningful friendships with others. We all need those special friends with whom we can hang out together, laugh together, cry together, and serve together. It's okay to have hundreds of friends; but I'm talking more specifically about those few relationships who love you no matter what, the friends who encourage you and pull you out of your ruts. As the writer of Proverbs says, "A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother" ( Proverbs 18:24).

If you're lonely, tell me who your friends are. If you have trouble replying to this request, indeed, you are lonely. God never intended that you go through life without friends. Life is to be lived in community. It is with friends that we find life's greatest joy and fulfillment.

Recently, I was eating dinner with a fellow Baptist pastor. I would say his church is one of the leading congregations in the greater Columbia area. He started probing me about friends. He asked me if I ever met with other pastors. I was able to tell him about a group of pastors who meet occasionally for dinner. I told him about my friend and accountability partner Jody Flowers and how we get together every week. I told him about friends in the church where I pastor.

I could tell he was really sincere as he fished around. So I asked him outrightly if he had any friends. Basically, he had none. No prayer partner. No ministers' group. In fact, when I probed him about friends in his congregation, he indicated he had one man previously that he considered to be his friend. But something negative happened that halted the relationship. Great guy, great pastor, great leader in our state. I'm certain he's a good pastor and very friendly. But he has no friends. I could sense the loneliness of a partner in ministry.

It's so easy to get into a rut and shelter ourselves from others. We use the excuse of no time, no money and no energy. And we end up hostage in our homes with no significant friends and becoming lonelier as each month passes. Ultimately, whose fault is it if we are lonely and have no friends? You got it! That's why my second point stresses the word pursue. To overcome loneliness, you can't wait for others to come to you and say, "Will you be my friend?" No, overcoming loneliness requires that you break out of your comfort zone and pursue some meaningful relationships with others.

Why do you think we make such a big deal about Sunday School classes and small groups? Because we know that in these groups, you will connect with others. In these groups you stand a greater chance of building key relationships in your life. This is why Legends is such an important ministry in our church. It provides an arena where senior adults can deepen their relationships. This is one reason why we provide men's and ladies' Bible studies—so men and women can pursue friendships.

Third, pursue opportunities to engage in ministry. What does this have to do with loneliness? It's simple. Two things. Getting involved in some type of volunteer work puts you in contact with other people. The people you minister with become your extended family. As you minister alongside others, relationships are nurtured. Friendships are established.

Here is the second way ministry helps you deal with the issue of loneliness. volunteering forces you to serve others. When you serve others, you take your mind off your own personal issues. When you take your mind off your personal issues and you serve others and with others, guess what? You're doing the very things you need to do to overcome loneliness. Think about it. Are you lonely? Or can you think of someone who is lonely? Usually, the lonely person has ventured away from others and has turned to an inward focus. Sometimes the loneliness turns into a gigantic pity party. I'm not trying to make light of a serious problem. I'm just making the case that pursuing opportunities to engage in ministry may very well be the medicine you need to overcome loneliness.

Are you lonely? Do you wonder why you feel so alone? Do you sometimes wonder if you'll ever pull out of this lonely state? Do you wonder if you will ever be able to pursue a meaningful relationship again? If you can relate to these questions, let me remind you that Jesus Christ can relate to what you're going through. He understands because He wept through the ultimate loneliness. Jesus—lonely?

Do you remember when Jesus was dying on the cross and He cried out to His Father, "My God, my God! Why have you forsaken me?" What was going on at that time that prompted Jesus to cry out in such anguish? It was a cry of ultimate loneliness. His Father, the God of this universe, had turned His back on His own Son. Why? Because at that moment in time, Jesus had taken upon Himself all the sins of this world, including yours and mine. At that moment in time, God the Father could not even look at His Son because He would be looking at sin.

I'm not trying to make light of how lonely you may be. But your loneliness pales in comparison to what Jesus experienced. He conquered it when He rose from the dead. And because He conquered it, so can you. He is your constant companion. He is your special friend. So this morning, let the love of Jesus Christ invade your soul and begin a process of healing your loneliness. He's always ready. He is waiting on you.