Life has become so complex. Wouldn't it be great if we could go back 40 years when life seemed much simpler? When is the last time you, your spouse, and your children all walked out of the house together, got in the same car, and drove off together? When is the last time all of you sat down at the dinner table, with everyone observing fine table manners, and ate a civilized meal together?

Can't we go back to the Cleavers? I loved watching this program as a kid growing up. It was one of my favorites. Beaver, Wally, Mom and Dad, and, of course, Eddie Haskell. Life seemed much simpler then. Can't we go back to the Cleavers?

Simple answer—no, we can't go back. With every passing generation, life becomes more and more complex. Technological advancements certainly provide us with more conveniences, and High Definition TV and video on demand have moved our leisure hours from sandlot playtime to indoor fingertip entertainment. But the problem is that none of this stuff satisfies us. And when it comes to the family, it seems that every member has his own little island of residence within the walls of the home. So naturally, we reminisce and long for the good-old days when life seemed to be much simpler.

In the 40 years since the Cleavers we have seen the complexities of life take their toll on the family. Divorce rates are much higher. Teenage pregnancy rates are much higher. Abortion rates are much higher. More and more couples live together before they get married (if they do get married). Throw in the complexities of homosexuality, skyrocketing family debt, domestic violence, and hundreds of prescriptions to medicate mental and emotional pain, and you can see why it is so difficult to build strong, healthy families.

Yes, a lot has changed in the last 40 years. But one thing that has not changed is God's ideal plan for marriage. His plan is one man and one woman committed to each other for life. His desire is that every marriage be successful. When God said in the opening pages of the Bible, "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh" (Genesis 2:24), He wasn't suggesting a philosophy just to get the family thing going at the beginning of time. No, He was stating an eternal truth. He was establishing His plan for marriage for all time. But how can couples build stability in their marriage with all the pressures they face today? Is it possible to have strong, stable marriages? The answer is yes—that is, if you're willing to follow God's plan.

Today, we're beginning a new series of messages on the family. We're calling the series "Family Matters." Going through Father's Day, we're going to talk about ways to strengthen your family. We'll deal with some issues relating to parenting and marriage. We're going to talk specifically to singles one Sunday. And we're even going to deal with one of the hot-button problems that destroy families today—the issue of money.

How many of you are married? How many of you would really like to build stability in your marriage? How many of you would like for God to be at the center of your marriage?

I want you to think of your marriage as building a house. Of course, building a house is an extremely complex undertaking. For our purposes today, we're going to simplify the home construction business and emphasize three main components—the foundation, the bricks, and the mortar. These components result in a stable house. And applying them to marriage will produce a stable marriage.

First, a house needs a strong foundation, doesn't it? Marriage needs a strong foundation as well. In a marriage it is commitment that serves as the foundation for stability.

In the Sermon on the Mount Jesus talked about building our lives on a solid foundation. He said, "Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock. But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a great crash" (Matthew 7:24-27).

This principle applies to marriage as well. If you're wise, you will keep your marriage built on the solid rock foundation of commitment. Without this level of commitment, the storms of life will prove that your foundation is very shaky. Your marriage will not survive if the foundation of commitment is shaky and shifting.

Take a look at a couple of slides. This is a gigantic sinkhole in Guatemala City that swallowed a dozen homes and killed three people in February. The sinkhole measured 330 feet in depth. Officials blamed recent rains and an underground sewage flow from a ruptured main for the tragedy. Residents had been hearing noises and feeling tremors for about a month before the ground opened up before dawn, waking many in the poor neighborhood.

The problem resulted from a weak foundation. That's the problem with many marriages. Couples have allowed the foundation of commitment to weaken and crumble. When you said, "I do," you brought to the altar an unshakeable commitment to make your marriage last a lifetime. But through the course of time you've allowed the stuff of life to chisel away at your commitment. You've allowed some sewage to seep into your rock of commitment.

Commitment is tough to maintain. When you got married, everything was ideal. Then your marriage became an ordeal. And now you want a new deal. Do you know how to spell marriage? It's a four-letter word. You spell marriage W-O-R-K. If you are married, are you as committed to your marriage as you were the day you said, "I do." You should be. Actually, as time passes, that foundation of commitment should become ever stronger. But it takes work.

Marriage, without question, is the most important human relationship we can ever be a part of. Therefore, shouldn't it deserve our full-hearted devotion? Success in marriage goes beyond mere feelings. Your marriage doesn't last because you feel in love with your husband or wife. A marriage lasts when it is based on love. And the basis of genuine love is commitment. You pledge yourself to that person no matter what. That's commitment.

If commitment represents the foundation, then communication represents the bricks. "My wife is driving me crazy. All she does is yak, yak, yak." "My husband never talks, and he never listens." Women like to provide all the details. Men want the women to land the plane quickly. Without question, men and women possess many differences when it comes to communication skills. Yet, without question, communication is a must for a healthy, stable marriage.

Almost anything you buy these days has a money back guarantee. Buy a new DVD player. Take it home and use it. If you don't like it, return it for a full refund. New anti-virus software. Try it for 30 days. If not satisfied, contact the company for a full refund. (Of course, you may be on hold for 45 minutes.)

Hampton Inn is known for its satisfaction guarantee: "Friendly service, clean rooms, comfortable surroundings, every time. If you're not satisfied, we don't expect you to pay. That's our commitment & your guarantee. That's 100% Hampton."

We love these escape clauses. After a few communication mishaps with your spouse, you may be wishing for an escape clause in your marriage. But it's not quite as simple as returning your unwanted DVD player.

Remember, marriage is spelled W-O-R-K. And, believe me, communication takes work. Do you know what else communication requires? Talking. What a surprise. Whether you're talking about children, jobs, finances, dreams, irritations, in-laws, vacations, hurts, sex, current events, retirement, or problems—each bit of communication should serve as a brick that builds upon the foundation of commitment.

Did you hear me use the phrase "should" serve as a brick. Unfortunately, too often instead of allowing the brick to be placed on the foundation, we use it to throw at our partner. Insult—another brick thrown. Criticism—another brick hurled. Silent treatment—another brick used to injure. Angry words—man, those bricks hurt.

How is communication in your marriage? Remember, every positive communication builds a stronger marriage. Every negative communication weakens the relationship. Can I give you a verse from the Bible? If couples applied this verse to their relationships with one another, many, many marriages could be saved. Here it is: "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen" (Ephesians 4:29). Chew on it. Print it and tape it to your bathroom mirror and refrigerator. Meditate on these words. Make them a vital part of your communication skills. I promise you your marriage will be strengthened.

The foundation is commitment. The bricks are communication. The mortar represents Christ. I started to make Christ the foundation. But actually a non-Christian couple can have a fulfilling marriage if they have a strong commitment to each other, even though they can never reach their God-given potential as a couple. But in a brick building, mortar is everywhere. The mortar holds every brick in place. The mortar attaches the bricks to the foundation. To build stability in your marriage, you need Christ at the forefront. He needs to be at the center. He needs to be everywhere. This is part of what Jesus meant when He told a fellow about the greatest commandment of all: "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength" (Mark 12:30).

Seven years ago I had the privilege of doing one of the Brazil mission trips. Day one on the site, someone gave us a fifteen minute lecture/demonstration on how to lay concrete blocks. After the lecture, everyone proceeded with trowel in hand and began laying the block. Native Brazilians were there to mix up the mortar. When our buckets would get low, we would holler out, "Mais masa! Mais masa!" "More mortar! More mortar!" Then we'd get our trowels and start slapping that mortar everywhere.

Christ is the mortar. When your marriage hits those bumpy roads, Jesus is the one who will see you through. When disagreements surface, you need to let Jesus take over. When you're setting your goals, let Jesus be at the helm. When you have decisions to make, be sure to include Jesus. When your family experiences a crisis—Jesus can handle it. When you feel like you can't take another setback, let Jesus take over. With Christ at the center you will reach the end of your days, look back with deep gratitude and say to your mate, "If I had to do it all over again, I'd certainly do it with you. What a blessing you have been to my life."

So do you really want a strong marriage? No, we can't go back to the Cleavers. But we don't need to. Here are three building materials you certainly need. You need a foundation of commitment. You need the bricks of communication. And you need the mortar of Christ to hold everything together.