We're continuing our studies on the family called "Family Matters." In the first two messages we talked about marriage. We looked at the foundation of commitment, the bricks of communication, with Jesus being the mortar that holds it all together. Then we looked at things people do to create fault lines that end up killing a marriage. Last week James dealt with the challenges of being single and stressed how all of us, married or single, will reach our greatest potential when we are living for and serving Jesus Christ.

Today, we're going to talk about family finances. In my years of ministry I have read enough and I have counseled enough to tell you that money matters might very well be the number one issue that leads to marital conflict and breakup. If you hear a sermon on money, usually it's teaching how believers need to practice the biblical model of the tithe. Without question, the Bible teaches that we need to bring the first ten percent of our earnings as an act of worship to demonstrate our gratitude to God for His faithfulness to us.

But what about the other 90 percent? Yes, God teaches that we need to bring to the church the first 10 percent. If you do that, well and good. You are being obedient to God. But if you don't manage the other 90 percent properly, your marriage, your home, and your life can easily, and will most likely, end up a mess.

I know you've read the fairy tale of the beautiful princess who marries Prince Charming and rides off into the sunset to live happily ever after. Have you heard the 2007 version of the story?

"The Prince was deeply in debt for the beautiful 4-bedroom castle and the new 6-horse chariot he had financed at high interest rates. The Princess was still paying for her school loans to Princess University and had racked up a lot of credit card debt while buying all the new clothes and accessories she had worn to the Prince's ball.

"It took all of their money to pay all the bills, and after a year or so, they began fighting over their increasing mound of debt. The Prince wanted to buy a new flat panel TV for the den, while the Princess wanted to go to Hawaii on vacation, and both of their parents were pressuring them for grandchildren.

"It wasn't long before the Prince started spending more time at work and with his friends while the Princess spent more and more money decorating the castle to keep up with the Joneses. Arguments, bitterness, and silence followed. Finally, the Prince filed for divorce. He got the chariots, she got the castle, and they lived unhappily ever after." (copied from Crown Ministries webpage)

Unfortunately, I have seen this ridiculous story lived out all too often. If love is the tie that binds couples together, money is the wrench that pries them apart. Many couples bring high dollar indebtedness to the marriage altar. And before long, loans are needed for a new car, new furniture, and a new place to live. Sometimes couples hang in there together, although poor financial discipline has pried them apart relationally. Is there hope? Is there help?

That depends. Are you willing to follow practical biblical principles for managing your money? If so, then, yes, there is hope and there is help. If you're not willing, then…well, what can I say? The three principles I'm going to give you today can be helpful if you're in a financial mess or if you have a pretty good handle on the other ninety percent.

First, choose your master. Jesus taught this most important principle of money management in the Sermon on the Mount. Read Matthew 6:24-34 with me. If you didn't know who Jesus was and when He lived, you might think these words were written in the 21st century. Why? They are so relevant to 2007. He talks about worry. Do we have any worriers in the house?

Basically, He's trying to teach us that worry adds absolutely no positive value to our lives. People get all worked up over having the latest styles of clothes, the newest set of wheels, and best entertainment system. Jesus stressed the simple things of life. He talked about how God cares for the lilies that beautify the landscape. He mentioned the birds and how they don't fret about where to build their nest and where they're going to find the next worm. God takes care of them. And if God takes care of the birds and flowers, certainly He will take care of you.

These words bring assurance and comfort to all of us. I don't mean to pop your warm fuzzy bubble about these verses. But you need to know that the main thrust of Jesus' teaching here is not the promise of God's care. The primary teaching is our need to choose Jesus as the Master of our lives.

Follow the flow of the verses. Verse 24 teaches that the lordship issue can be filtered down into two possible masters that you choose to follow. One's name is money and the other's name is Jesus. When you choose money, you're also choosing to live a life filled with worry and high pressure anxiety. That's what Jesus is talking about in verses 25-32. Choose to live for Jesus, and you will discover that He will meet every single one of your needs and that He will provide you with an inner peace that those who choose the money master do not have.

So Jesus begins this passage by saying you can't have two masters. Then He illustrates the difference between the one who chooses money as master and the one who chooses God as his master. A life filled with stress and worry versus a peace-filled life that trusts God to meet every need. Then to conclude His thoughts on this subject, He urges us to choose the right master. He says, "Seek first his kingdom." And when we do, He will take care of everything we need.

Let's get very practical. For those who have become victims of poor financial decisions resulting in an economical mess, don't manipulate these verses to say, "I'm just going to trust God to get me out of this mess. After all, if He takes care of the birds and flowers, I know He will take care of me." That's a cop out. That's a way of trying to escape the admission of poor financial decisions and then expecting God to bail you out.

On the other hand, God is willing to provide His care and help. But the first thing you've got to settle is who will be your master—Jesus or money. We're talking today about the other 90 percent. But let me be very frank with you. What about the first 10 percent? God can't help you if money is your master. When you decide not to bring the first 10 percent to Him, by your actions you're demonstrating that money, and not God, is your master. So when I say choose your master, how you use the first 10 percent is an indication of whether God or money is ruling your life.

So in essence what I'm saying is that bringing the other 90 into order begins by choosing Jesus as your master. And one of the obvious ways you demonstrate that He is your master is by bringing your first 10 percent to His church as an offering.

First, choose your master. Second, plan your budget. I know this principle is a no-brainer. Yet you'd be surprised at how many families never take the time to write out a budget. In premarital counseling, I ask the couple to write out a budget that combines the two incomes and reflects their monthly financial responsibilities. Only a few actually do it. Most of the time it's like this: "We sort of know it in our heads."

In another teaching of Jesus, He said, "Suppose one of you wants to build a tower. Will he not first sit down and estimate the cost to see if he has enough money to complete it?" (Luke 14:28). Suppose you want to buy a car. Suppose you want to start a savings account for your children's college education. Suppose you want to be a stay at home mom. Suppose you really want to bring the other 90 percent in order. Then "sit down" and write out your budget.

Not only is writing a budget a very practical exercise, but it also carries with it many fringe benefits. Think about it. A couple stays at odds with each other about finances. Sitting down together—by the way, there is one of the benefits—helps both of you to see the big picture. It can build teamwork. It will show you where you need to cut back on some of the frills. It might even lead you to downsize in order to bring expenses under control. Hopefully, it will motivate you to turn the budget affairs into matters of family prayer.

Central Christian Church in Las Vegas recently produced this video and showed it in their worship services. A visual often communicates far more effectively than mere words. So take a look. (Show "There's Something about Ben")

One more thing before giving you the third principle. Just writing out a budget can be a helpful exercise in and of itself. But long-term, it doesn't do much good unless you're willing to live within the budget.

"Something about Ben" serves as a great segue into the third principle about the other 90 percent. Choose your master. Plan your budget. Third, lower your debt. The budgeting part becomes much easier when you can eliminate the debt monster. The Bible has some clear teachings on the subject of debt. For example, "Don't run up debts, except for the huge debt of love you owe each other" (Romans 13:8, Msg). Or in the Old Testament, "The poor are ruled by the rich, and those who borrow are slaves of moneylenders" (Proverbs 22:6, CEV). Many of you are slaves to Chase Bank and Citibank. These lending institutions own you. That's why we try to coach you to develop strategies that will move you to financial freedom.

Americans spend $1.22 for every $1.00 they earn. Something doesn't calculate right there, does it? One of the main issues that young Americans, aged 25 to 34, deal with is delayed gratification. You've got to have that new gadget now. It can't wait. In this same age group, those holding an interest-bearing account of any kind dropped from 65% in 1985 to 55% in 2004.

What do these stats tell you about the future? In 20 years how will families ever be able to tear down the mountain of debt they are building? What about the church? What do these stats say about the ability of believers to fund the work of God's ministry?

Can I offer a handful of suggestions that I hope will prompt many of you to take some steps to lower your debt. Singles, before you get married, eliminate as much debt as you possibly can. The best way to stay out of debt is not to go into debt in the first place. You might need to downsize your car to get rid of a ridiculous car payment. Freeze your credit cards until your credit card debt is eliminated. And then use them only when you can pay the total balance every month. Eat at home more often. If you did an inventory of your monthly expenses, you'd be surprised at how much you spend at restaurants. Get a second job temporarily. Use every bit of the extra income to pay down debt. And here is a great idea. The next time we offer a financial workshop, show up.

Don't try to accumulate in one year what it took your parents 30 years to accumulate. It's actually okay to drive a smaller car. It's okay to buy clothes from Goodwill or discount stores. It's okay to buy used furniture. Live within your means. And say NO to debt.

Choose your master, plan your budget, lower your debt. Can you get more practical than that? Don't let the money issues tear your family apart. There are solutions. There is hope. But you must be willing to make some adjustments that will build for you a stronger foundation of finances. Talk these issues out. They won't take care of themselves. Turn these challenges into a season that will strengthen your marriage. Talk openly about the 10 percent and the other 90 percent.