One day I was out visiting, and I knocked on an acquaintance's door. She opened the door, and I honestly thought I must have come to the wrong house. I didn't recognize this lady. But she recognized me and invited me in. I know I must have acted funny around her because this was weird. Maybe this was her sister or a friend who knew me.

We sat down and started talking. I was still trying to figure this thing out. I promise you, this did not look like nor talk like the woman that I had come to visit. I thought I was in the Twilight Zone.

As we continued our conversation, it finally began to dawn on me. This was the woman. She just looks a lot different when she's dressed up and made up and going to church. The woman I was talking to that day had a different hairdo. And she had no teeth. I came unannounced; so she was not made up. Now this happened some years back. Had I thought about it after the visit, I could have called Hollywood and given them an idea of a television program. I'd call it Extreme Makeover. Because at least once a week this woman gave herself an extreme makeover.

I know what some of you are thinking. You're trying to figure out who I'm talking about. You may even be afraid I'm talking about you. No, I promise you that no one here today knows this woman. She's never even been to this church. So, at ease.

Do you know people who look older than they really are? Something I've noticed as I get older is that everyone my age always looks older than I. Have you noticed that? But seriously, the stresses of life can certainly make you look older than you really are. Sometimes you can look at a stranger and know that person has had a rough life. And you wonder what his/her story is.

We're wrapping up our series of messages today from the life of David called "Slaying Your Giants." In this final study, we find David at a point in his life that most likely he looked much older than the 60-plus years he really was. He's walking slowly. His shoulders are probably slumped over. His eyes look awful because he's been weeping. His mind probably is traveling back to the time when God through Nathan told him that he would face family heartaches for the rest of his life.

Our focal verse today is one of the gloomiest verses in the Bible. Let's read it. "But David continued up the Mount of Olives, weeping as he went; his head was covered and he was barefoot. All the people with him covered their heads too and were weeping as they went up" (2 Samuel 15:30).

Read the verses leading up to verse 30 and you will see why David's life is stress-filled. In verse 30, we see that his head was covered. In other words, he's no longer wearing his crown. His son Absalom rebelled and has taken the kingship from his father. David has to flee the city. That's why he's crying. As he climbs the hill, he could look back and see the city of Jerusalem, the very city he built.

At this stage David has no clue what his future holds. All he knows is that he has no home and no kingly power. What happened? Did a drought or plague spread through the land? Did he lose a war? What is a king doing walking up a lonely hill with no place to call home? I think if we look closely, we can understand better why David looks much older than he really is.

Let's ask him a couple of questions to see if we can gain some insights. First, David, how are things between you and your children? That's the question of a ruthless reporter because the reporter knows enough of the truth to put David in a tough spot. It has been fourteen years since his rendezvous with Bathsheba and thirteen years since Nathan his prophet confronted him about the adultery and gave him God's message of punishment. "Now, therefore, the sword will never depart from your house, because you despised me and took the wife of Uriah the Hittite to be your own" (2 Sam. 12:10).

For the last thirteen years David could vouch that his family has been one gigantic mess. His son born to Bathsheba died. Another son, Amnon, raped his half-sister Tamar, a daughter of David's from another marriage. Then Amnon threw her out in the streets, resulting in her living a life of shame. 2 Samuel 13:20 reports that she lived in her brother Absalom's house, a desolate woman.

The next verse gives David's response, a very interesting one. "When King David heard all this, he was furious" (2 Sam. 13:21). Talk about family conflict. But notice David's response. He got angry. And that's it. Come on. Tell us something else. Is that all? He got angry? There is no evidence of confronting Amnon about what he did. There's nothing about punishing him or banishing him. Nothing.

To make matters worse, he did nothing to help Tamar. Of all times that a daughter would need her father, it would be in these tragic circumstances. But there is no evidence that he stepped in to affirm her and to let her know of his love. So Absalom played the role of father in order to fill the void caused by David. As he provided shelter for her, his anger brewed against his brother. Eventually, he got his brother drunk and had him killed.

Well, maybe David would pull it together and emerge as a courageous king now. Not. At a time when his family needed him the most, he stayed absent. Again, no evidence that he responded in any way. Sure, he wept. But he wept in solitude.

Absalom, with blood on his hands now, interprets his father's silence as anger. So he flees Jerusalem and hides in the home of his grandfather. David makes no attempt to find his son. For the next three years David and his son live in separate cities and never see or communicate with each other. Absalom moved back to Jerusalem, but David still made no attempt to spend time with him. Look at this sad verse: "Absalom lived two years in Jerusalem without seeing the king's face" (2 Sam. 14:28).

Apparently, David neglected all of his children. That must have been his modus operandi for parenting. Adonijah, another one of his sons, staged a coup. He got all his troops together to take over the throne from his father. David didn't even object. The Bible says, "His father had never interfered with him by asking, ‘Why do you behave as you do?'" (1 Kings 1:6). Do you want a perfect illustration of a passive Dad? Take a look at David. He and Homer Simpson have a lot in common.

The reporter has already exposed David with his first question. Let's see if he does any better with the second one: David, how is your marriage? Let's go back to 2 Samuel 3 for some blistering evidence of marital problems. Read verses 2-5. Six wives. Count them. Two not listed here are Michal and Bathsheba. So at least eight wives that we know of. That's more than one wife for each day of the week.

If you go to another book of the Bible, something else is revealed about David. "All these were the sons of David, besides his sons by his concubines" (1 Chronicles 3:9). His eight wives bore him sons. But he had many other sons born to concubines. We don't even know how many. It makes you wonder if even David knew how many children he had. He should have known better.

I know we're beating David up pretty badly this morning. Let's not forget the man after God's own heart did many things well. His military conquests were amazingly successful. He built the capital city and returned the ark to the tabernacle. He wrote beautiful poetry. The accolades could go on and on. But when it came to family matters, David blew it. He went AWOL on his family and that was his greatest downfall.

Let's go back to Absalom for a moment. They finally reunited. But it was too late because the seeds of bitterness had already taken root. Absalom was determined to dethrone his father and run the country himself. He recruited from David's army and staged the coup, forcing his father to flee the city. That set the stage for David's lonely walk up the Mount of Olives: "But David continued up the Mount of Olives, weeping as he went; his head was covered and he was barefoot" (2 Sam. 15:30).

Those familiar with the Bible know what happened next. Those loyal to David chase Absalom down. When he tries to escape, his long hair gets tangled up on a tree branch. The soldiers spear him. When David heard the news, he fell apart: "O my son Absalom! My son, my son Absalom! If only I had died instead of you—O Absalom, my son, my son!" (2 Sam 18:33). Too late, David.

When you study the life of David, you will find that he succeeded in all walks of life except at home. But think about it, if you're not successful at home, are you really successful at all?

How can we explain David's disastrous home life? Study the Scriptures and you will discover that none of the psalms were written about his children. None were written about his wives. Certainly, as many wives that he had, at least one of them deserved a psalm. He prayed that God would spare his son born to Bathsheba. But outside of that the Bible records nothing about him praying for his family. He prayed about his military escapades. He prayed for Jonathan and even for Saul, his enemy. But it's almost like his family didn't even exist.

Maybe he was too busy with all his other responsibilities. Maybe he was too important. After all, he was king. Maybe he was too guilty and felt that he had no voice of morality since he did what he did in the Bathsheba story. And now, it was too late.

But let me assure you of something. It is not too late for you. How is your marriage? On your wedding day God loaned you a beautiful piece of His creation. And that creation is extremely valuable and you should treat it as such. Love her. Respect him. How could you ever flirt around with someone else when you have the person that God has provided for you?

David probably viewed his wives as trophies in a cabinet. He saw them as a means to the end of pleasure. He probably never viewed them as God's gift and plan. How do you view your wife? How do you view your husband? Do you see him/her as God's gift to you? Be loyal and faithful to the one God has given to you. Don't even flirt around with someone. Don't ever take even the first step outside your marriage in your quest to find fulfillment. You made a promise on your wedding day. Keep it.

How are things with your children? Our world is filled with heroes. They score touchdowns, act in movies, sing at sold-out concerts, and run countries. But let me tell you who the true heroes are. Their names are Mom and Dad. Serving in your child's homeroom or helping coach his ball team may not make the newspaper headlines. But what you're doing is far more significant than those who make the headlines. Read to your kids. Play with them. Go places with them. Pray with them. Listen to them. Watch their games. God has loaned them to you.

Let me share one more sad story from David's life. He's near death. He's deathly cold. Blankets can't warm him. His servants decide that he needs someone to hold him closely as he takes his final breaths. Do they call one of his wives? One of his children? No. They went out and found a beautiful woman he didn't even know. "So they sought for a lovely young woman throughout all the territory of Israel, and found Abishag the Shunammite, and brought her to the king. The young woman was very lovely; and she cared for the king, and served him; but the king did not know her" (1 Kings 1:3-4).

How tragic. Max Lucado summed it up this way. "He died in the care of a stranger, because he made strangers out of his family." Let me challenge each of you to succeed at home first. Love your wife with every ounce of devotion. Love your husband out of your deepest passion. And cherish the children the God has entrusted to your care.